The Wise Family Chronicles

Day Twenty-Three

The Wise Family Chronicles (Read Proverbs 10:1-10)

"The family. We are a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms. . . and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together." ~ Erma Bombeck

As a member of your family growing up, did you bring joy or grief to your family? Now that you are considered an "adult," do you bring joy or grief to the family? What would your family say if questioned about your role in the family dynamics? Would they sigh or smile in response to such a question?

The Definition of a Dysfunctional Family: A dysfunctional family is a family in which conflict, misbehavior, and often child neglect or abuse on the part of individual parents occur continuously and regularly. Children who grow up in such families may think such a situation is normal. Dysfunctional families are primarily a result of two adults, one typically overtly abusive and the other codependent. They may also be affected by substance abuse or other forms of addiction or sometimes by an untreated mental illness. Parents having grown up in a dysfunctional family may over-correct or emulate their parents.

In some cases, the dominant parent will abuse or neglect their children, and the other parent will not object, misleading a child to assume blame. ~  Masteller, James; Stoop, David (1991). "The Blame Game".

Can you relate?

 Our Scripture reading this morning in Proverbs reminds us we have a significant role in our families. All families should strive to be adequate examples of loving families that practice spiritual principles inside and outside the home. When we fail to live up to this standard, we cause a ripple effect lasting for ages. Consider the Hatfields and McCoys.

If you struggle to be an effective leader inside the family and feel like your family dynamics are a hopeless cause, think again; there is a lot of help out there, and you can find it. Seek wise counsel for yourself and your family. Your family is not a lost cause, but to do nothing and sit back with your fingers crossed, hoping for a better day tomorrow, is ineffective.

I love my sister Cynthia's definition of a dysfunctional family. "A dysfunctional family only exists when the last adult inside the family quits trying to make a difference." ~ Cynthia Hasten

There is no perfect family, but some families are healthier and more mature than others. If your family has recovered from much dysfunction, you owe it to other families to show them how you did it. If you commit to this practice, you'll make the world a better place, and your impact on families will be incredible. What families in your circles could be blessed by your demonstration and commitment to a spiritually principled design for living and are desperate for a better life? Invite them for dinner, a picnic, church with food after, game night, etc.

A wise child brings joy to a father;
    a foolish child brings grief to a mother (Proverbs 10:1).

 "The family is the cornerstone of our society. It shapes the child's attitude, hopes, ambitions, and values more than any other force. When the family collapses, the children are usually damaged. When it happens on a massive scale, the community itself is crippled." ~ Lyndon B. Johnson

 The world is dysfunctional, but God never gave up on humanity despite our dysfunction. God desires healthy and vibrant relationships with everyone and, in return, asks us to be the difference makers, creating healthy and vibrant relationships inside and outside our homes that influence our communities, culture, and the world. It's time to toss the "victim hat" and the "our family is to the point of no return" nonsense.

It's time to start making a difference in how your family turns out. Quit settling for grief when joy is possible, and a God-centered family dynamic is where the hope is. Today can be the turning point for the future and legacy of your family, but you must take the lead. If you need to change your behavior drastically, then change it; if you need to confess your shortcomings, confess them; if you owe an amend, make it; if you need to be invitational, then do it, and we already know you need to seek wise counsel, so get it. DO IT TODAY!